Nancy

Upcoming Event: State of the Industry

Posted on February 1, 2010

We will be at the State of the Industry event hosted by Meetings (Minnesota’s Hospitality Journal) on Tuesday February 2, 2010, holding a series of roundtable discussions on Social Media and how it’s used in the hospitality industry for events and conferences.

It’s not too late to join us! You can still register for the event; while you’re there, enter SOIGUEST10 and save $10!

It’s going to be a fun day and we hope to see some of you there.

To see more events the Geek Girls will be speaking at please check out the schedule. To book us at your next event or conference, drop us a line!

Just Because You Can Doesn’t Mean You Should

Posted on January 29, 2010

With the proliferation and popularity of social media, like Twitter, its easy to forget how powerful a single voice can be.  And yet, like a match, a single voice can spark a raging blaze, perhaps without ever really intending to do it.  As individuals, we often think that when we speak we’re only heard by our immediate audience.  Why edit your content when there’s so little impact? But with social media, that’s not really how it works.  And the immediacy of social – the instant ability to publish an issue to a very broad audience – just complicates the dynamic.  We edit less.  The Geek Girls like to remind folks that fact and fiction or good news and bad news travel at the same speeds in the digital realm. And, let’s face it, as humans, we’re probably more likely to complain out loud than we are to share stories about good experiences. Especially when it comes to consumer or brand or service experiences.  It’s true.  We have expectations around service.  When our experience with a brand comes off without a hitch, we probably don’t say much.  Because we expected it.  But if we have a less than easy encounter with a service provider, we are usually more prone to complain.  And we’ll complain to anyone in the immediate vicinity.  Only now, the immediate vicinity includes the web – Twitter and Facebook and wherever your profile may live.  Don’t deny it.  You know I’m right.  You do it.  But here’s a radical idea – I’d like to suggest that you pause for some reasonable amount of time before transcribing and publishing your knee jerk reaction to an unpleasant encounter.  Because giving it a little bit of time just might be the right thing to do.

I subscribe to cable and home internet services through the cable company and, for the most part, other than the occasional grumble about the high price of cable television, I rarely have a complaint about Comcast.  You may or may not be aware that recently Comcast decided to go entirely digital, which requires that all televisions without set-top control boxes get an additional adapter to receive the all-digital signal.  Comcast informed subscribers via snail mail with a letter that provided instructions around how to order the adapters.  We were given two options – logging into a website and providing a unique identifier and ordering the adapters, or calling a customer service line and speaking to a representative.  Being someone who practically lives online the web option was my obvious choice.  I headed straight for the website, filled out the required fields and provided my ID number, only to be met with an error message stating that the site was unable to process my request at that time.  I tried again, same result.  One last time, still an error message.  My initial reaction was one of frustration.  Don’t send letters out with website information that does not work!  I considered, for a split second, tweeting my frustration.  I even pulled up Tweetdeck for that very reason.  Then I had a moment of calm and decided to just pick up the phone and call Comcast for my adapters. The next day I did exactly that, and you know what happened?  I talked to a delightful human who was beyond helpful and friendly.  My customer service experience with Comcast was, ultimately, perfect.  I got all the information I needed.  The rep was friendly, warm, available, and efficient.  She made it so easy.  I got my adapters by mail just four short days later.  Done. 

It would have been so easy for me to tweet my bitterness.  To be honest, I’m not sure what stopped me.  But now, in retrospect, I’m glad I didn’t do it.  Because I realized something as a result of that series of seemingly meaningless events.  I realized that I have some responsibility in all of my brand and service interactions.  Because behind every website and call center and brand promise are people.  We can automate every single transaction.  But it doesn’t take away from the need for humanity in our relationships with these brands. Don’t get me wrong.  I think it’s perfectly ok to expect good and reliable products and services from the brand in whom we place our trust.  But there’s a difference between expecting quality and feeling entitled to instant gratification.  The web has sort of muddied these waters and as more and more of us recognize the power that the individual has in the world of consumer relationships, its hard not to have really high, even entitled, expectations. 

I think many of us have by now heard the story of Famous Mom Blogger Heather Armstrong’s dealings with Maytag.  In her case it seems clear that she attempted to resolve the situation via traditional channels before she resorted to inciting the masses following her on Twitter to take up her cause.  But it does illustrate just how powerful these channels can be.  No, not all of us are Dooce.  But by tapping into the power of social media we all have access to much broader and much more distributed networks of people.  The potential for reputation damage goes far beyond your immediate gripe over the fence in the backyard. 

Those of us in the service business are generally just trying to do good and honest work.  The problem with being human is, sometimes you just fall down.  As consumers of goods and services AND social media I’d like to see us all practice a little humanity and recognize our own responsibility in all of our relationships.  In my case, I just picked up the phone.  It was really that simple.  A little patience and effort on my part was rewarded with exactly what I should have expected — excellent service.

Podcast #7: Social Media & Personal Safety

Posted on January 8, 2010

For our seventh podcast we invited Geek Girls Guide reader Alexis Bell over to talk about some concerns her family members had with her jumping into the world of social media.

Listen Online

Click the cute little button below to stream the audio in your browser window.


Recap

Alexis (@alexisjbell) sent us an email and said:

“My parents have become very concerned that on my Twitter account I have my picture and my real name. One night I tweeted that I was going to the MIMA holiday party and that concerned them because A) someone could rob me knowing that my house is unoccupied or B) stalk me. I realize their concerns are real and that they are just worried about me but I haven’t figured out how to ease their minds yet.

So I guess my question has to do with personal safety and security while posting information about what you are doing and where you are going. With Facebook I know who everyone is ‘In Real Life’, but with Twitter I don’t yet know any of these people. Some I’m hoping to know/meet in the future with regards to social media and web design. I know that approving everyone that follows you is an option but I don’t see that as a solution if I’m trying to get into social media.”

We talked about:

  • Generational differences between what we are used to sharing, and having public
  • The insidious danger of danger – a brilliant post by Tara Hunt (@missrogue)
  • Sharing information sensibly; be aware of what you’re sharing in any network you’re participating in.
  • Ways to demonstrate why it’s important for a modern professional to be creating content about themselves that is indexed by search engines.

The bottom line in this whole conversation is that it would be a mistake to miss out on the personal and professional opportunities to connect with people in social channels out of fear. Be smart, but don’t be afraid.

Join in the Discussion

What do you think? Are you avoiding social media because you’re concerned about safety or do you brazenly share all?

Remembering The Golden Rule

Posted on January 5, 2010

Everyone learns the Golden Rule at some point in their childhood.  You know it – treat others the way you’d want to be treated.  Or, simply put, treat people with consideration.  It’s one of those basic human values that is shared by Christians, Buddhists, Muslims and Humanists.  The Golden Rule is one of ethics and humanity, more than anything else.  We need to choose, every day, to be decent to one another.  And, surprisingly, it’s not always so easy to do.  Being human is just hard.  These days, with business and information moving at the speed of sound, and everyone trying to keep up with the Joneses or bubble up or be remarkable or be a ‘thought leader’ humanity takes even more of a back seat. Most of the time, that’s really not the intent. Social Media can be a channel for self promotion.  And when we’re too self-focused we lose site of each other and, by extension, we lose sight of that Golden Rule. 

Over the holiday my house was bustling with family and festivities.  My sister (who has no idea I’m using her for this post and hopefully she won’t care) stayed with us to celebrate Christmas.  We were busy – a big family gathering on Christmas Eve.  Friends in town and staying over with us for Christmas morning.  My three-year-old was enjoying the first Christmas where he really embraced the magic of Santa Claus.  The last thing I was thinking about was what sorts of images of me might end up on the Internet.  I was wrapping up work, and cleaning my house, and preparing hor d’oeuvres and doing last minute shopping and, you name it – it was on my list.  By the time Christmas morning rolled around I was breathing a sigh of relief at the prospect of a nap.  Now, I don’t know about you, but I do not sleep in what one would refer to as high fashion.  In fact, I’ll admit it, my night-time wardrobe has been sorely neglected over the years and most every morning, when I come plodding out of my bedroom sporting a brilliant case of bedhead and some misguided combination of sweatpants and a t-shirt, I look positively homeless.  Christmas morning was no exception.  I played spectator to my son and the Christmas motherlode.  I completely missed the fact that I was a passive participant in a series of photographs capturing his excitement.  There I was looking like a bloated, homeless whale – laying on the couch or curled up on the floor or all contorted for some crazy task with ‘some assembly required’.  My sister, whom I adore, was capturing every precious moment of my baby’s magical morning.  Unfortunately, my butt was the backdrop for a good number of those moments and I had no idea.  No idea, that is, until my butt showed up on Facebook. 

Facebook, the basement-home-movies-and-instantaneous-scrapbook all rolled into one.  Instead of inviting your friends over to bore them with your latest adventure as you project your vacation slides on your paneled rec-room wall, just share your family fun on Facebook and they can comment and ‘Like’ your life from anywhere, right this instant, and forever.  Somewhere between brunch and my long winter’s nap on Christmas Day I logged into Facebook to kill some time and was immediately notified that my sister had posted some pictures.  My heart raced as I quickly reviewed her recently uploaded collection.  Granted, I wasn’t the focal point of any of those photos.  But, it could not be denied, that there I was, looking about as comfortable and unkempt as a person ever should, right smack dap in the middle of my sister’s ‘wall’.  I thought very seriously about the correct response to this issue.  On the one hand, they were not my pictures and my sister can take and post whatever she wants on her Facebook page.  But on the other hand, about 25 of her friends are my ‘friends’ and I wasn’t entirely comfortable with anyone, save my immediate family, seeing me in such a state.  It’s an interesting dilemma when you think about it.  Social Media only works when the intent and the content is authentic.  One could argue that my desire to remove pictures of myself looking terrifying is not exactly authentic.  But I also need to feel safe in my own house.  I need to know I can roam around in my underwear and not have to worry about it showing up on the world wide web by nightfall.  Who is deciding how these things work?  We are.  And, quite honestly, there’s nothing all that digital or ‘new’ about it.  When thinking about how best to be ‘social’ in the Social Media sphere, remember the Golden Rule.  Treat others the way you would like to be treated.  Show them some consideration. 

Now, I’m not suggesting my sis had any ill intentions in posting those photos.  I think she simply wanted to share the images of her sweet nephew’s holiday excitement.  But without my consent, or prior review, she was sharing much more than that.  You see the moral dilemma?  What right did I have to ask her to edit what she wanted to share with her network?  The problem was, once the content was tagged, it was shareable outside of her network.  And I have no idea what her privacy settings look like.  Bottom line – I was not comfortable with it.  It wasn’t about oversharing – it was about my level of comfort with what was being shared.  The Geek Girls have said time and time again, behind every picture is the human that took it and posted it.  If you don’t like the picture talk to the human.  I mean, come on.  In this new era of immediacy in communication – we have to all commit to being reasonable when publishing content to what is really a GLOBAL network.  But I say we should go a step further and, as creators of content, we need to apply the Golden Rule.  We need to be sensitive to and considerate of others first.  Ask before you post if there is anything that could be even slightly compromising.  I don’t think that asking for a little kindness is really asking for all that much.  In fact, that is exactly what I asked of my sister — I asked her to be kind to me in re-reviewing those pictures.  In the end, she was more than kind and for that I am grateful.

Go ahead – post your pictures, share your videos – put it all out there.  But before you hit ‘submit’ – remember the moral of this story – remember the Golden Rule.  Be kind to each other.

Podcast #6: The Decade in Review

Posted on December 30, 2009

In our sixth podcast we take a look at the last ten years, how technology has played a role in our lives, and what we think is on the horizon. We’ve now got three ways for you to listen:

Listen Online

Click the cute little button below to stream the audio in your browser window.

Recap

We talked about:

  • how the personal blogs we started a decade ago affected each of our lives, both personal and professional.
  • the major events of the last decade and how technology played a part, or how they might be different with today’s technology.
  • predictions for the coming years

Links

Dooce: the blogging juggernaut who was once known as the girl who lost her job because of her blog.

Meghan referenced a poem by Poetry Slam founder Marc Smith, which exemplifies the Geek Girls mission as we head into 2010:

pull the next one up
When you get to the top of the mountain
Pull the next one up.
Then there’ll be two of you
Roped together at the waist
Tired and proud, knowing the mountain,
Knowing the human force it took
To bring both of you there.
And when the second one has finished
Taking in the view,
Satisfied by the heat and perspiration under the wool,
Let her pull the next one up;
Man or woman, climber of mountains.

Read the full poem >

Join in the Discussion

Tell us what tech development or movement influenced your life the most of the last decade.  Share your stories and observations in the comments.  We want to hear them.

Podcast #5: Being Safe Over the Holidays

Posted on December 23, 2009

In our fifth podcast, we discuss the importance of paying attention while driving. Duh, we know. But, come on — so many of us have been guilty of driving while texting, or after having “just a couple” glasses of wine.

Download

Use this link to download the mp3.

On a Mac, hold down the control key and click and select “Save Link As…” and save the mp3 somewhere on your computer.
On a PC, right click and select Save Target As… (in IE) or Save Link As… (in Firefox) and save the mp3 somewhere on your computer.

When you open the file, it should launch your preferred audio player.

Listen Online

Click the cute little button below to stream the audio in your browser window.

Recap

Texting while driving is not cool. Buzzed driving is drunk driving. DON’T DO IT. Every 44 minutes someone is killed in an alcohol-impaired driving crash. Last year, nearly 12,000 people were killed in alcohol-impaired driving crashes. Just around Christmas and New Year’s, 316 people were killed in alcohol-impaired driving crashes.

Really, all of this comes down to paying attention to what we are doing. To not being so cocky about what we are capable of. As part of that, we also ended up veering off into the realm of how technology can distract us from our lives: from our children, our spouses, our work. So, this holiday season, and into the new year, think about what’s important to you and make a pledge to pay attention. Pay attention to how you feel after a party and don’t drive if you feel buzzed. Pay attention when you’re driving and don’t text. Pay attention at your meetings and don’t drift off into Twitter or get sucked into your laptop. Pay attention when your kids are in the bath and don’t play with your phone.

And hey, we’re not preaching here: we are pots calling the kettles black. We’re just as guilty of all of this behavior, and we’ll be making the same pledge.

Happy Holidays. Be safe, friends. And pay attention to the stuff that’s important to you.

— — — — —

This post is in honor of Meghan’s best friend Catherine Anne Bollo, who was hit by a drunk driver 20 years ago today and died on Christmas Eve day. She was 15 years old.
It is also dedicated to Nancy’s cousin Dusty Michelle Futrall, who died in a distracted-driving car accident in 1990 at the age of 19.

Geek Girls + Shop Girls

Posted on December 19, 2009

In anticipation of our appearance on Shop Girls this morning, we wanted to jot down some of our favorite sites for last-minute holiday shopping.

Last Minute Holiday Shopping

The key when you’re in last-minute mode is to keep it simple: go with the old standby sites that are easy-to-use and whom you trust to actually ship your stuff on time. Now is not the time to experiment with some crazy new site; save that for a more low-pressure time.

Land’s End: Every day they’re featuring a last-minute holiday item with a deep discount and guaranteed Christmas delivery. They’re also tweeting these deals — and you can win free stuff by re-tweeting. Follow them on Twitter: @landsendchat

Other trusty standbys (many featuring daily deals from now ’til Christmas):

  • Amazon: Check Daily Deals and Top Holiday Deals.
  • DealNews: Great aggregator of deals around the web, geeky stuff and more!
  • Overstock: Check their 25 Deals, 25 Days.
  • SmartBargains: The name pretty much says it all.
  • Zappos: It’s not just for shoes anymore!

A helpful aggregation of retailers on Twitter: http://www.noturnonred.org/twitter/

Unique & Local

  • Etsy: Find amazing, inspiring and lovely things on Etsy. Just check the seller’s ratings and — if they don’t clearly state their shipping information — contact them to ensure you can get it on time. Another great local alternative (without biting your nails about shipping) is NE Minneapolis shop i like you, which features tons of handcrafted gift items.
  • Threadless: Totally awesome t-shirts for men, women and kids. Great last-minute deals on shirts ($10!) and shipping.
  • Viewville: Fine art photo prints by professional photographers. Browse by photographer or style. If you’re in the Twin Cities and order by the 22nd, you can get your matted print by Christmas Eve!
  • Spot Spa: A great Minneapolis spa offering both gift certificates online and online DIY scheduling.
  • iTunes: One way to avoid the shipping hassle is to find digital downloads. iTunes offers ways to give the standard gift-card, but you can also give someone a movie to download, or a season pass to a favorite TV show.
  • One of the reasons I find myself in last-minute mode is total lack of inspiration. A favorite spot for browsing for inspiration (mainly for the ladies on my list or, uh, myself) is Polyvore.
  • ‘Tis the season to also consider not buying gifts at all; you can find Minnesota non-profits to donate to at GiveMN.org.

From Our Twitter Peeps

  • Land of Nod: Unique gifts for kids. If you’re looking for unique items that you won’t be at the big department stores – this is for you.  Children’s furniture and so much more.
  • Figis.com:  Corporate gifts are sometimes hard to do affordably.  But, if you want to say thank-you to clients on a budget, you’ll love the selection at Figis.com.
  • Uncommon Goods:  Not only is this site chock full of beautiful and totally unique gift items, but it’ll also help you find gifts for those hard-to-buy-for folks on your list.  Visit the site and try the handy ‘gift finder’ right on the  home page.  Tell them who you’re looking for, how much you want to spend, and provide a few more details and this thing will cough up a wide  variety of suggestions from sock monkey slippers to a pictoral dictionary.

Happy shopping, y’all. Let us know how it goes!

Update: Another thing we talked about on the show: Owle! Perfect for an iPhone 3GS owner in your life who wants to capture better video on their phone. Super cool gadget!

Also the Flip camera, which is really easy for anyone to use (and can shoot HD video). We’ve had a lot of people we know also recommend the Kodak Zi8 as an alternative to the Flip (we’ve never used that one, though).

AMA Follow Up

Posted on December 15, 2009

During our recent presentation at the MN-AMA’s Get in the Game Conference, we focused on giving people a solid foundation of 101-level social media knowledge. We’ve posted a recap of our presentation here, along with some helpful links and resources.

Where to Start

After defining social media, we assumed everyone in the room had two basic objectives: to establish and manage a social presence, and to define and implement a monitoring and response process.

The steps we suggest for social media success are:

  • Define goals
  • Set benchmarks
  • Educate internal audiences
  • Create processes and policies to manage content and conversation

Thinking about social media as a conversation is vital, and “conversation” is a new mindset for many marketers. Social media is not a strictly push tactic: it’s about listening, connecting, and participating. These conversations and connections can be a powerful way to connect with your audiences (both internal and external), but you need to teach internal audiences how to behave this way. Companies, organizations and brands are not used to having two-way conversations with their audiences. They are often structured such that one department “talks” and another department “listens” — and sometimes those two departments barely talk to one another!

Define Goals

When you consider your goals it’s also important to think about the goals of the audience with whom you are trying to connect.

Keep in mind when defining your goals it’s hard to measure ROI in the ways that you are used to. Often there is no clear call-to-action with social media, and you might have to do some listening before you can make clear goals.

In many cases, old measurement models don’t quite fit. Luckily, lots of new ways of thinking about how to measure social media are beginning to emerge.

Set Benchmarks

It’s never a good idea to jump into the internet with no strategy or direction in mind, and it’s important to set benchmarks and checkpoints to compare to in the future. Sounds familiar, right? It’s not like this approach is new, but because social media is “The Next Big Thing!” far too many marketers seem to be jumping into the tactics without enough strategic forethought.

At the very least, you can start listening to what’s being said in a variety of social networks to gauge the overall number of conversations and get a sense of whether the energy is bad or good.

Initially, the idea of monitoring Twitter, Facebook, blogs, etc. can seem overwhelming. The good news is that for most brands it doesn’t have to be! There are many free tools like Twitter Search, Google Alerts, and RSS feeds and, for many brands, it’s possible to start with a homegrown monitoring solution. (Later, as you start getting more comfortable with social media monitoring, you might consider a paid service or agency.)

Below are some guides on how to set up and use different monitoring services:

Educate

As a company, you should also be thinking about implementing a social media policy so employees have a clear understanding around what is okay to share, and what the “voice” of the company or brand in the social media space is. A great way to get internal audiences involved is to host a bootcamp or workshop to educate employees about their role in representing the company or brand.

Create Processes & Procedures

In addition to educating audiences, you need to make sure that your company has some sort of internal process for responding to conversations in social spaces. Once you start listening, you’re going to want to talk! So, who approves those responses? How do you handle any possible legal issues? What do you respond to, and what do you ignore? What is the voice and tone of your company or brand?

Again, depending on the size of your organization, these processes don’t have to be overly complicated. But, it’s good to think through the questions before you dive in. Here’s a wonderfully simple example of a local restaurant doing social media “right.”

Get in the Game

The last thing to remember is that you’re not alone: there are plenty of other companies and professionals out there trying these tools for the first time, and there are lots of resources and people out there to help you. Our goal is for everyone to feel like no question is stupid when you’re trying something new. Drop us a line and let us know what you think! We’d love to hear from you.

This post was cross posted at the MN-AMA blog.

Podcast #4: MPR Technology Follow Up

Posted on December 8, 2009

I had the pleasure of talking to Kerri Miller on the Midmorning show on MPR this morning.  (You can listen to the show here.) Her guest was Robert Stephens and I was a call-in guest for a short part of the hour.  It is so hard to even try to touch technology in an hour’s worth of time.  It’s even harder to speak to the cultural impact of technology in short bytes.  We try to do all of that here on the Geek Girl’s Guide.  But we try to do it in a way that encourages very broad participation.  We want to open this up to audiences that may not normally be included in a conversation about technology.  Of course when I finished the interview my head was spinning.  The only logical thing to do was to keep talking to Meghan about the ideas we’d only touched on in the on-air chat.  Here’s the resulting podcast.  Enjoy!

Listen Online

Click the cute little button below to stream the audio in your browser window.

Giving Thanks In National Adoption Month

Posted on November 26, 2009

Thanksgiving sends us all through the same exercise – we think about those things for which we are most thankful.  Generally, the first thing that comes to mind is one’s family.  Families are a great gift and the people that make home feel like home.  November is also National Adoption Month so it seems only logical that I should share with you my story – the one in which I was lucky enough to create what is now my family with more than a little help from technology and early social media.  Just maybe what I share here will be of some help or comfort to someone who may stumble upon this post and find in it a little nugget of hope when they need it most.

Adoption is a very personal decision.  I think those people on the outside of it make assumptions about why people decide to adopt.  But those assumptions are generally a pretty narrow view of reality.  In truth, some people just know that adoption is the path for them.  I have always been one of those people.  I always knew I’d be a parent, but I never felt any sort of compelling urge to give birth.  Adoption is one of those subjects that exists in the periphery of cultural consciousness until you decide that you want to pursue it.  Once you are serious about becoming a parent via adoption, a whole subculture starts to reveal itself to you.  But not without a pretty significant amount of investigation.   Thankfully, when I began my journey, I was already very familiar with the internet.  Unfortunately, the adoption industry had not yet caught up to technology and was slow to adopt new channels of communication.  At the time I started I was able to research adoption agencies through newsgroups.  (Remember those?  Newsgroups?) I’d hear about one, and then I’d search various adoption newsgroups for people with experience with the agency.  Then I’d make contact with those people and, if it made sense, follow up with contact with the agency itself.  Let’s put this in context, I started this process over 9 years ago and it took me six years to find my son.   The web was still a less than effective way to really find and connect with resources in a way that really moved the process forward.  But for me it was a little different.  I was a blogger.

When we talk about Social Media, the Geek Girls try to point out the value of blogs and bloggers as community builders and mechanisms for two-way dialogue.  In a world where Facebook is the social tool dujour, and Twitter is Facebook’s cooler, thinner younger sibling, blogs tend to get dismissed as less than social and certainly not as powerful for creating connections.  But my story suggests otherwise.  My blog was where I chronicled not so much the boring adoption journey itself, but my emotional response to a process that really isn’t very forgiving of emotion.  See adoption is a lot about preparation, anticipation, anxiety, hope, disappointment, grief and, if everything finally comes together, ultimately its about celebration.  Being embroiled in the adoption process (read: bureaucracy) for six years meant quite a few blog posts about this crazy range of emotions.  I don’t need to recap all of it here, but I will tell you that we started pursuing international adoption, which has it’s own set of complications associated with it.  We accepted and lost two referrals (a referral is a child in adoption speak) about 18 months apart (this was after waiting over a year for the first referral).  Those children just disappeared into the ether that is that process. With the international thing no one ever tells you where the referrals go — they are just gone.  We switched agencies three times.  We transitioned from international to domestic in shifting from one agency to the next.  Each comes with its own set of fears.  International is expensive and the process can be long and disappointing, depending on the country.  But with domestic adoption there is the fear of the first mom changing her mind or the first dad not really being on board.  Nothing worthwhile is ever easy though, right?  As I moved along this path I talked about it on my personal blog.  And the craziest thing started to happen.  I started to meet people who were rooting for me, or who were also embroiled in the adoption conundrum, or people that had been victorious and were wise, experienced parents of adopted children.  A real dialogue and a real community of supportive humans started to emerge and they stayed with me through the entire ordeal.

I blogged when I was confused by paperwork.  I blogged when we got our first referral.  I blogged when I lost sleep and when that referral drifted away, when the invitation to travel to another country never came and when our adoption agency dealt with some shady issues.  I blogged over my frustration with the wait and the silence and with people who popped out babies one after the other.  I wasn’t really doing it for anyone else.  I didn’t expect anyone would care or be moved to return to my site or participate in the discussion.  I just needed to say what I had to say and my blog was that outlet.  But people were reading and they did care and they were participating.  It was single people, married people, straight and gay, moms and dads, grandparents. People who wanted kids.  People who didn’t.  Families immersed in the adoption quagmire.  I was humbled and grateful for every blog comment, every email, every new friend or acquaintance.  They kept me hopeful on those days when I had no other reason to be.  And six years into it, when I was ready to give up hope, I wrote a blog post in response to a woman who, when suffering from mental illness, threw her twin babies into the Mississippi river.  I wrote her a letter, actually.  Her and anyone like her that was struggling.  It wasn’t really for her or them.  It was for me.  It was my inner dialogue coming out and I published it for the world.  I begged her and anyone like her to please please consider me.  Not ‘me’ per se.  But us – all of us in that place – that limbo between wanting a child and having a child.  That place that is a cloud of confusion and desperation and hopefulness.  That letter, that personal plea, that prayer moved my little community into a conversation I can’t really describe.  Suddenly I was receiving emails with suggestions for immediate action that I should take.  People who’d had luck with one angle or another were sharing their secrets and I was determining which to pursue. 

I moved again into the breach with renewed energy and a feeling that this would be my last great effort at reaching out and trying to find my family.  One suggestion was an aggregated list managed by a woman who collected crisis situations from all over the country.  So instead of aligning with an agency, I would be choosing to pursue individual situations.  I don’t want to get into the mechanics of the adoption process, that’s not what this post is about.  But, suffice it to say, these people in my online community altered my perception of what was possible and when I decided to think absolutely outside of my comfort zone and pursue these various options, things started to happen.  I followed up on a couple of crisis situations, which led me to a conversation with an adoption coordinator who remembered me months later when a woman came to them looking for a family just like ours.  We were interviewed by the first mom and her family, we ultimately met them and grew to care very deeply for them.  In July of 2006 my son was born and we took him home 48 hours later.  When I am asked if the wait was worth it I always answer in the affirmative.  Because now that I know him, I know why we had to wait.  It was for him.  He is exactly who we were supposed to meet.  He is our family. 

Why is this a Geek Girls post?  Why have I decided to share this today?  Because with all of this talk of social media and the miracle that it is for business (I use the word ‘miracle’ facetiously) and personal branding, at the end of the day these are human interactions.  It is our humanity that moves the needle forward – a little at a time.  With all of our tweets and status updates, pictures and connections, I want us to recognize that ‘transparency’ is just a buzz word.  What we really want is honesty and authenticity and humanity and, even a little vulnerability.  We are not connecting because we are fabulous.  We are connecting because we are real.  We are flawed.  We NEED each other.  We learn and grow from and support each other.  We challenge each other.  The tools have changed.  There is more possibility for connection.  The conversations might be bigger.  But we are still perfectly imperfect humans. 

On this Thanksgiving I am thankful for my family.  My bright shining light – my boy.  His first mom and dad and the gift they gave us.  And all of the lovely, far-away people on the internet who never let me lose hope, who gave me energy and ideas, and ultimately (whether they know it or not) led me to my son.  Happy Thanksgiving.

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*Note:  this post is not meant to be representative of the adoption process in any way.  It merely reflects my experience with it.  Every experience is different.  Adoption is a worthy, worthwhile pursuit and I wouldn’t change a thing about the path that lead me to my son. 

Additional Resources

National Adoption Day

Adopting.org

Adoption.com